the boy cried blue

It's fading by now, but for about an entire week my hair was dyed blue.

I was once asked what my favorite feeling was, after being about four pints of beer deep. I replied honestly: "spite". Although I may have jumped the gun on it being my favorite feeling, it is certainly high on my list. This leads to...

Several months ago I asked my mom if she would be upset if I showed up to Christmas with blue hair. She nearly shit at the very thought of it. I told my band I would dye my hair blue for our upcoming show, yet they didn't believe me. Granted, I didn't that night, but their doubt remained pretty steadfast.

For weeks I would casually remind others that is was coming. Disbelief seemed to be the name of the game, almost as if I was the boy who cried blue.

Almost another week passed by when I made an actual effort to purchase the dye. This was it. Go time. Believe it or not, this wasn't the first time I ever dyed my hair. In fact, I was dying my hair for almost all of 2007, after trying to match my hair to a fake beard I had bought for a halloween party, which was dark brown. I later found out that you can just as easily buy women's hair dye to use because, in reality, it's the same hair, and they have about 400x the options.

So one night, after partying late, I asked two friends to assist me in dying my hair. They agreed and before I knew it I was rinsing my head off into a shower, looking down to what looked like a shot from a Psycho Smurf shower scene parody. It was blue.

And it was the right time: I didn't have a job and I had an entire week off school. Life is very different when your hair is blue. I found myself balancing on the edge of embarrassment and entitlement, as if having that color of hair is reserved for a very specific class of society. Although I really did enjoy walking up to a counter to address the clerk with my hat on, order a coffee, and just before paying I would take off my hat to catch that look from the person serving me. I feel that they either took one of two things away from my appearance: that this guy is a total nut, or knows exactly what he's doing because nobody in their right mind would ever have that hair color.

I suppose it was just one of those things I had to do in my life. When I look back on the photographs of my life, I want to see some fucking blue hair.

I guess what you can take away from this piece is don't be afraid to dye your hair and that disproving people's disbelief in you is one of the most satisfying and dignifying experiences in life. Keep your promises and try not to be full of shit, more or less.

the machinists

Yeah it's been a while. For some reason I'll leave the house in the morning wanting to write something, then lose interest over the course of the day, for whatever reason. I could however, spout off on a certain diet that I've been on as of late.

My friend Aaron and I decided to depart on one of the more radical diets known within Hollywood (for film buff's, Christian Bale used this method to lose something like 60 pounds for his role in The Machinist). As I'm sure Aaron looked into the mirror with the same sort of discontent for his body as I did, we decided to hold hands and take the plunge together. That was eight days ago.

The diet consists of mainly apples (of any variety) and canned tuna, with a few personal exceptions (he eats carrots, I eat leafy greens), you know, just to spice things up. This diet/cleanse/whatever I assure you, is not as healthy as it sounds. Even with a daily dose of multivitamins, your body still requires much more than acidic fruit and fish. I realized this days into it. We loosely set personal goals for ourselves. Mine was to either last until this upcoming Friday (rounding off at about 12 days), or to lose ten pounds. I weighed myself on a friends scale across town on the first day, weighing in at 194. I haven't been back since, but I'll ball-park that I've lost about 8. I can see my ribs when I suck in for fuck sake's.

I was attracted to this diet for two main reasons. One, two lose a fare bit of weight. It's not that I'm wildly overweight, but I've just become pretty lacklusted about the way I see myself over the past few months. Not like "eating disorder" bummed, but I'm sure you know what I mean. The second was just the pure personal will to do it, as well as the deprivation of what I hold so dear: food.
I can make almost anything in my kitchen or yours. I love to cook, and I do it everyday. Yet this apple/tuna has got me really bummed because I can't even combine the two into something edible. Sure I can bake apples, but the taste remains.
One of the more challenging aspects of this hunger is just living where I do, and being surrounded by unbelievable cuisine. Little Italy, Little Portugal, Chinatown and everything ethnic in between. Although not so terrible now, the cravings were almost unbearable at times. I actually saw spit shoot out of my mouth once on the street, I kid you not. So in this respect, it is not the process of being hungry, but the reward that will come once it is all over - whenever that may be.

There have been some tough times I'll admit. I actually almost fainted in the computer lab at school last weekend before clinging to a vending machine with my head between my legs, punching in #143 to get some Crispers. All Dressed, of course. At that point, I knew these days were coming to an end. I can't say I was surprised though: apples aren't much aside from water, and tuna, by now, I've cut out of my diet completely and either eat salmon or cous cous. It's safe to say I ruined tuna for myself for a while, which sucks because I cringe at Gold Seal's promotional tuna posters spattered around the streets of Toronto.

I'll post a final weight loss figure on this site once I stop for good.

Oh and a big plus is that you get drunker WAY faster.

have a nice fucking day!

I have no idea what provoked these. I think it's because every time I see the image directly above, I utter the words "have a nice fucking day!", because it just screams energy, even though it's insanely grotesque haha. Come to think of it, most of them are pretty fucking ugly. Enjoy, and use them in any way you'd like. You can't say quality blogging is dead.

spreken ze talkin' schmidt

I know I didn't make any mention of it at all, but I'm off to Italy and Switzerland for 3 weeks.

Me and BK are currently sitting in Heathrow Airport in London waiting to make our connecting flight to Rome. Very exciting!

For those that remember from last summer, I'll be continuing my writing on my travel blog, Spreken Ze Talk. I sacrificed my film camera for my video camera this year, which should provide some memorable moments.

hue video diary one

due to the lack of posts, i'll justify myself by putting this video up

"YTV, pull that shit down!"

Mike and I recorded the Basement Edition of Talkin' Schmidt last night. The topics include:

BK: Lego vs. Legos , Excess Disney Sequels, Useless Hand-held Phone Tactics, Backpackers, Call of Brutal Children

Andy: Matilda and Satanic Messages, Ex Girlfriend w/ Boyfriend Etiquette, Anonymous Donors, Vegetable Commercial Motifs / Dad vs. Dolphins

Collectively: Specific Souvenir Requests, Chicken Soup for the Damaged Readers Soul

It was all filmed quite quickly and efficiently. Seeing as we haven't filmed an episode in almost a year, the topics flowed rather smoothly. The Crown Royal didn't hurt things either. Christmas time will do that to you

balance

I just printed everything I've written over the past year.

It's 57 pages and over 27,000 words.

It's actually quite liberating to have that much written material in your hands.

I think over the break I'll read and re-evaluate key points and questions, and maybe use those towards something bigger and more concise. Because, if I were to go back and elaborate on most of the ideas and questions presented, the number of pages could have doubled.

I'd love for some other writers out there to try the same, and maybe an exchange could be made.

mon calimarian cruiser

This little momma is going in the "Funniest Shit Ever" bin. Being the gigantic Star Wars nerd that I am, I almost died when I first saw this. If you're ever in Ein-Steins bar on College Street on any given night and you hear "It's a Frap!", it's for sure me.

peas and tarot's

Two shoots. Two days. Rush rush rush.

I was experimenting with a flash setup I bummed from school, except the sync chord they gave me didn't sync at all, so they were only really good for spot lights, but I made do.
I snapped some band shots last night of the lineup we've currently been rehearsing with. Who knew that one day we'd have another ginger, who's name is also Andrew, who also went as Tin Tin for Halloween? I don't know if I like the sounds of those similarities. As long as he can't freestyle as good as me, I'll be okay.

There are more shots, but they'll be released on our Myspace when we're good and ready: probably after a few more rehearsals.

The next shoot was this morning at Blair's urban planning firm.

I was hired on by Cal Brook and Anne McIlroy, who are quite possibly the two most gracious and patient bosses I've ever met. The shoot went very well. I allowed myself a little over three hours to shoot, and the production meeting we had weeks beforehand helped us craft the sort of images they were looking for to add to their website.
Despite my serious sickness, I managed to pull together a fine body of work (and even got to use a ladder). I'd add more photos to see, but they currently don't belong to me. Oh to be a business. Fun day nevertheless, and I even got another job out of it.

On a final note, Anne told me my personality is reflected in my work. Probably one of the best compliments I've received all year.

There you have it. Another capper on one of those "Impossible Weeks" I seem to keep having.

changes to my mind

Real quick note:

The majority of my writing will be passed over to Spreken Ze Talk.

Funny tour stories for the most part.

I'll probably drop off some thoughts here as well the odd time.

See you there!

Happy 100

this marks my hundredth post!

i hope you've laughed, learned, or been entertained in some way.

here's to another hundred.

new blog business

Friends! Alert!

As of tomorrow I will stick to the Spreken Ze Talk blog for the three week period of my trip through Eastern Europe.

I will do my very best to narrate, humor, and inform you on what's happening. Pictures will also be uploaded as much as possible. I guess it all really depends on the internet connections I come across.

Either way, I hope you join me.

studio log

music credit: Beirut - The Concubine

it's always something

I'm seriously beginning to think that my body is trying to meet some sort of quota for how many things can go wrong with me in one year.

The other night I bailed stepping over a parking block and allowed my right hand, my favorite, to take the brunt of the fall. I must have crushed the shit out of it because it is currently about the size of a softball and the swelling is so thick that I can't tell if it's broken or not. The palm of my hand is slowly turning darker and the pain is almost nauseating at times.
Don't get me wrong, I can still use it. I'm just worried that it might be broken. That would be amazing because we play a show in two weeks and I can't really afford to take time off work. I also don't like icing it when I sleep because the coldness seems to give me nightmares.

Richard Wilson's Rotating Wall

helter skelter

Lately I've had a tonne on my mind. I've been meaning to write almost every day, yet can't bring myself to come up with anything solid. I think I'll just jot for now, and maybe elaborate one day.

- I've been listening to albums on shuffle on my discman. It's a nice feeling, almost like listening to them for the first time again. Some albums are even better on shuffle.

- I've been trying to grasp a better understanding of possessions. The other day I was sitting in my room and I realized that all this stuff is mine, it belongs to me. If I were to move, all this stuff would come with me. It's a very elementary thought, yet it's funny to imagine how much we all own. I'd like to see everything I've ever bought in a big room, so that maybe I could laugh at all the dumb things I've purchased over the course of my life. That actually reminds me of a piece I was planning to work on a couple years ago, which was sparked from the fact that everything costs. I was once fascinated by the fact that everything in this world has a literal value. Touch any object within arms reach, and I guarantee you that it cost somebody something at one point (and don't say air, smarty). The pieces were going to be very large cityscapes, but instead of paint or pencil, I was going to use a price gun, because everything costs, right? I still plan on doing this, the only hurdle was actually getting my hands on a pricing gun. I'm sure I'd run into so many hurdles that it would end up like that puzzle piece I did: an utter mental breakdown.

- I've been saying the word trivial a lot. The problem is, I can't think of any other words that are as effective fast enough. I'm sure it's just a phase.

- What's the best thing about the economic recession? The DEALS. I've never, and probably will never see such deals in my entire life. And the best thing about it is that there is competition amongst these big companies, so prices are just getting lower, and lower, and lower. Example: numerous subs at Subway are only $5 for a footlong here in Toronto. Me and meatball have become very good friends over these past few months.

- For the first time in a long time, I really like my room. Every so often I'll feng shui the shit out of it and it just seems to get better and better.

- I'm extremely excited for the U.S.A. I love that country, and the arrival of Barack Obama is such an amazing step forward for the nation and I can't wait to watch it all unfold. Come to think of it, I had a nightmare last night that went something like this.
Inauguration Day wasn't in Washington, but in Harris Park. There were about 300 people, including myself, waiting for the arrival of Senator Obama to be sworn in. For some reason, he arose from the horizon in a big Hawaiin Tropic hot air balloon. Sadly, when it came time for him to land a big gust of wind shot the balloon into the Thames river. I woke up at that point.

- I've started drinking a lot of caffeine again. The effects aren't really towards my heart, but my mouth! I can't shut the fuck up. Jitters aside, it is making me a lot more industrious.

- I'm not sure which is harder: Realizing the world is crazy, or having to live with that fact. I know I'm going to have a mid-life crisis. Actually, I have mid-day crisis' every day. The only reassuring thing is that I know my life will not be normal as years pass. Spontaneity is an attribute of my personality that will never be fully under control. The urge to cut my losses and flee is ever-present.

- Jenna once introduced me to the very simple concept of mystery. Not to strive towards, but to look for and introduce yourself to. Since then, my perspective on normality, people, places, and interaction has flipped on its can and I find myself wandering more than ever. The incredible thing about Toronto is that you can walk to the same destination twenty times, but you can take a different route every time. Especially around this time of year, after a night out, walking home through the strange ethnic sects of Toronto seems like another world, and certainly not one that is minutes from your front door.

- The opening the other week at Vdara was a great success. Thanks goes to everyone who came and gave me a piece of their mind, and their heart. I didn't expect to see as many as I did, and am always grateful for the amazing relationships I have with my friends. Special thanks goes to Mickey for the huge amount of work on my behalf, and to all the staff at Vdara for making me feel so welcome. Oh, and the lamb shank was top shelf.

- Hue is playing a show this Saturday 24th at The Horseshoe Tavern around 12am. Throw me a line if you want to get on the guest list. After party is at Dance Cave right after the show.

That's enough from me.

pirogies, film, and jackholes

I've definitely been slacking in the writing department as of late. But hey! What am I to do when my laptop has been reduced to a pile of Compaq Shitcario? That's right, the days of old trusty are soon coming to an end. Bill Gates has made me squeal for the last time. Time for an upgrade.

Other than that, everything has been hunky-dory in Andyland. Due to some run-ins and meet-ups with some very wise friends, a lot has been put in perspective and I've heard things I needed to hear. These weren't things that I didn't know, but lets just say they were pulled from the back of my mind after being bombarded with useless media exposure.

I'm still painting like a mad man.
I'm working on this one right now that is taking me forever. I utilized two brand new techniques and wrestled with them for over two months, mainly using undercolor and successive layers of complementary tones. Using orange in a blue sky was something I wasn't used to, but has separated the work from my previous alla prima style. Also, with undercolor, I've allowed the background base colors do the talking, as opposed to what was placed on top of white canvas. So instead of trying to create a technically accurate image from one single layer of paint I've begun to build from the bottom, up. It's all very exciting, until I stop moving and the lights turn off.

Carla and I were talking yesterday about getting back into candid photographs using film instead of digital. I like that idea, because the thought of nearly losing all of my digital photos from the past three years in an instance scares the shit out of me! So I think I'll take all of my tip money from
work and put it towards getting my old rolls of film processed, instead of sitting in my freezer chillin' with my pirogies.

My friend Caitlin and I are still discussing my upcoming portfolio website, which still excites me. Don't hold your breath though, this baby won't be seen until sometime in 2009. But that's okay, because I'm still trying to hunt down and document my work from the past decade to put on the site. It's going to be exciting and snazzy. If you know any artist websites (even those that utilize Flash), just leave them in the comment box and I'll be sure to give them a looksy.

I took a really cool self portrait the other day, and I hate taking those. I'll put it up when i get a scanner? Who even has one of those?

I've also been finding myself in a constant state of laundry. I just can't stay on top of it.

I've considered making a new swear word. It's called "jackhole". It's a combination of jack-off and dick hole (another curse i've been really into). I guess I kind of took it from Marc Johnson, when he mention "gnarly jackasshole" in Modus Operandi. I like jackhole better though. It's fun to say and makes a fantastic descriptive word, ie. "Well, the guy was being a fucking jackhole, so I left."

I've also strangely developed an accent? Not entirely, but I've noticed it coming out every once in a while when I speak. It's a mix of a west-coast Canadian tone, and a little southern cowboy delivery on certain words.

I was rummaging through some old stuff back in London last week and I came across an illustrated short story I'd written in 1993. It was fucking genius. It was about a bull that didn't grow hair until he was in his twenties, and then died because bulls don't live that long. If that's not strange enough, at the end I went on about how his friends and family surrounded his grave, every night! There was also an illustration of this, which I want tattooed on my body. Sounds about right. I can imagine now, a tattoo drawn by myself when I was seven of two bulls standing at the burial site of a dead and buried bull. You can even see the outline of the dead body. I was advanced. That's another things I need to scan.

My doppio-long-espresso-con-pana has left me over-caffeinated, so I'll stop writing. That was the whitest thing I think I'll ever write. Rock those khaki's!

over, and under.

reminders

I've had a few things on my mind lately that I've wanted to make an attempt at elaborating on, explaining, questioning, and showcasing.

The purpose of this post is just to remind myself of things I'd like to write about in the future.

My Philosophies on Service

Nina Simone, The High Priestess of Soul

Things I'm Really Into At the Moment

The Studio

Young People

Alan Cross, Why Aren't We Friends?

Toronto Fans of Music, Clap Your Goddamn Hands

Attainable Coolness

Favourite Food Network Personalities, Part 3

Swearing Do's and Do Never's

George Carlin

5 Days Downstairs