billy jack

Sure, it's Saturday morning, and I have a lot to talk about.
But why talk when I can just watch Billy Jack clips online all day?
Here's a taste of my childhood. They sure don't make 'em like they used to.

don't shoot the messenger

I'll preface this next piece by saying I've never known my name to mean much other than simply "manly" (some friends phones have been assigned this title under my name, naturally). However, Tess hooked me up with a few little nuggets of info from the Urban Dictionary. Actually these nuggets are not little at all.

I laughed through every single one of these. Give them a read.

Ultra cool, Usually hot or at least sort of cute. Awesome sense of style, music, and humor. Sexy, awesome kisser

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the modern day superman, makes little asian kids cry by hitting them with pillows

Aaron: "damn nigga you owned me with a pillow andrew"

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a warrior, a man who does not give up; also a man who gets all the ladies

Andrew is the toughest and bravest man alive

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the hottest shit alive.

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has been laid by jenna jamenson, tila tequila, pamela anderson, and other hoes that dont stank.

duuude that guy reminds me of andrew, he gets all the hot girls!!

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A complete stud who all girls want to fuck. He has a large cock and some girls think it is perfect. Is kind and never is mean to people.

I wish i were like andrew.

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the most awesomest guy ever. everyone wants to be him. Girl version of name: Andrea

"Andrew is the coolest dude at buchanan high school"

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The most amazing person ever. Andrew's are super cool. Everyone loves Andrew. No one can live without Andrew. Andrew gets all the ladies

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has GIANT HANDS!!

WOAH!, did Andrew grow antlers.
No thats just his hands next to his head.

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Andrew is the best person in the world. He is perfect in everyway possible. Everyone (including me) loves him. If you go out with him you are way lucky. When he's with you, you feel like nothing can go wrong. Andrew is way hot, nice, funny, caring, and amazing. When he has his arm around you, you want time to stop because you know it wont last. When he leaves you, you feel like he took your life with him. Andrew always make you happy. But he leaves. When he does there is nothing left because he meant so much to you and you feel like you just let your life fall into a never ending pit that you can never leave. But when he's with you it's the best thing in the whole world.

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The best at everything known to man, created by General Custard in the 1800's, He's half man, half robot, half penis. He was created with the voice of angels and the strength of Hercules. He is most remembered for beating Chuck Norris in an arm wrestling championship. He once saved the world from aliens only to have sex with their women, he is man, he is everything, he is the one....

Chuck Norris' chest hairs are tingling.... Andrew's close by.

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Let's just say I'll be calling my mom in the morning saying

"Hey, thanks."

bright, bright lights

Sometimes when I'm really hungry, over caffeinated, hung over or head-rushed, I see stars.

I'm sure this happens to a lot of people.

Yet the strangest thing is that within the last month the stars have changed color.

They used to be white lights, now they're blue.

I don't really know what this means, just as long as they don't turn into psycho-red dots.

3B.

Budapest. Beer. Broken Hand. Christ, summer was good.

OH PS. MY TWIN EXISTS.

Okay. Trippy shit. Meme and I were surfing people falling on escalators (don't ask why), and we came across a video where a spectator has the EXACT same laugh as me. Give it a listen and tell me what you think. We both think it's a dead-ringer.

until then

I was listening to this song the other night and decided to bring it back to life by making a video for it. Seeing as I had a camera full of travel footage, I thought why not use it somehow? The thing I find kind of funny about the video is that it was entirely shot by myself, my dad, and my brother - something which I can guarantee you won't happen again for the rest of history: the Schmidt boys filming music videos.

Needless to say, here it is.



Aside from that, it may be worth watching on Youtube's site, seeing as the format of my blog cuts the sides off videos when viewed on certain screen sizes, like my own.

currency pt. 3

Okay, it's 3am.
Tess is blow drying her hair.
Bike and Megs are watching a movie in my bed.
Bean is just outside my screen door hitting a bong.
I'm wondering what to do.

sometimes you just gotta pat yourself on the back

FLIK

Remember a Bug's Life? That shit strikes again!
Very funny weekend with J-Ro and Jeffrey Vuitton.

banger and mash

I've got so much to say about girls, relationships, and sex, but can't properly explain myself because Manic has turned me into turned me into a fucking jittery-handed monster and I'd probably end up writing non-sensical shit.

Speaking of which, something I should bring light to: my segment in Talkin' Schmidt about ex-girlfriend etiquette has been receiving some flack lately. I don't really care. Every single guy I've talked to about this subject has fully agreed with me. One thing I will grant the female viewers is that, because of editing the segment due to time restraints, a lot of footage was cut, which probably would have helped in the explanation.

It all really boiled down to jealousy and attachment. Like most men in relationships over six months, we tend to view our women as "my girl". You look at her from across the room and say "that's my girl", which is a mentality that stays with you long after the relationship has ended. You see it in the movies all the time: when the divorced wife begins seeing another man, the ex-husband usually loses his mind with jealousy. It's not much different in this case. You become attached to that girl on so many levels that when it comes time to separate, most of the feelings for that person remain engraved on your heart and slowly fade like hieroglyphics.

So in my case, when I see an ex-lover with new man, what the fuck did you think I'd feel? I'm not some cold-hearted knucklehead with no concept of sentiment. I look at the guy and say in my head:

"If you hurt my girl, I'm going to rip off your cock, marinade it for two years, and then serve it to you in a restaurant and you'll think it tastes good".

What I said during the segment makes full sense. It's only human to be jealous of some man touching your girl. And although it may have been me that ended the relationship, I have every right to still feel strongly for the well-being of ex-lovers. Even so, I always remain civil when in the presence of the two of you - I shake hands and make you look really uncool - but just remember that the jar of brine is never too far away, if you catch my drift.