Sure, it's Saturday morning, and I have a lot to talk about. But why talk when I can just watch Billy Jack clips online all day? Here's a taste of my childhood. They sure don't make 'em like they used to.
After Tiffany informed me of more ridiculous Kick a Ginger Day antics, I had to look it up for myself. So ridiculous. Another cultural reference blown way out of proportion.
Maybe I didn't get kicked because I was out in the sun most of the day? They probably didn't suspect a thing. Besides, if they did decide to kick me, I'd probably allow it out of sheer admiration for their gall. Especially when I'm carrying a dizi in my backpack.
Flat out, when I was a kid I was fascinated with penises (or the correct multiple penis term: penae), particularly my own. I found them so interesting. My sister didn't have one, but my brother and dad did. Old guys had weird ones, and so did dogs. They shrank and grew throughout the day, mostly whether or not it was bath time. I would constantly crack jokes about how I had the biggest dick in the family. I would present this theory using any lock on a door, and it went a little something like this:
I would turn it out from the door a little and say "Miiiiike......huhuhuhu" then a little more and say, "Daaaaaaad.....huhuhu" and then crank the thing full out and scream "and meeeeeeee! hahahahahah"
My mom still thinks that's funny shit, and so do I. I was a special kid.
Yet what I am most famous for is called "The Dance of the Dinkies"
The Dance of the Dinkies was more like my "Fuck whatever I'm doing right now, it's time to make grandma laugh" ritual. All it really consisted of was me stripping butt-naked, run into a room, scream "DANCE OF THE DINKIES!!!", and proceed to swing my dick around and have a full-body dance freak-out. Everyone thought it was hilarious, but I'd usually get chased around by my mom with a wooden spoon because it wasn't the most polite thing to do when we had company over.
It mostly looked like this, except totally naked and with much more enthusiasm, if you can imagine.
I think that's enough sharing for today. Dismissed.
