If I were to have my own cookbook, the cover would be exactly Phoebe Gilman's Something From Nothing, except the old mans face would be substituted with my own.
When I cook, I can literally take anything in my house and make it into something relatively tasty. It's always been that way. Mind you, I wasn't so good at it when I didn't know anything about balance, texture, flavor bases or combination, but I still tried.
I've always wanted to have my own cooking show called Use All Your Shit!
It would go like so: I would show up to peoples houses (not invite myself over like that Australian prick on Take Home Asshole), to which I would open their fridge and pantry doors and concoct something delicious out of what they thought was "nothing".
I'll give you an example of this.
As of now, and for the past few days, I've had virtually nothing in my fridge. Lets say I had five items in there at most.
Last night I made deep fried vegetarian spring rolls with cheese, a homemade batter and even a dipping sauce from scratch.
Tonight I made a rosemary-infused cream of chicken soup with spinach, red onion, and diced carrots. For dessert I had a puree of strawberries and maple syrup on toast with a glass of red wine.
I swear to you - if you looked in my fridge you'd see nothing but stray bags of barely-there vegetables, a stick of butter, and rolls of film. I'm not normally the type to gloat, but I'm really fucking good at being creative in the kitchen. I could make you a roast chicken out of shards of glass if I wanted to.
ps. Except for that one time: I made Mike eat this "casserole" I made that was made only from wonder bread, sliced ham, white onion, and egg. That was fucking horrendous, and crunching into that burden still haunts me to this day. Sorry Mike.
4 comments:
I won't lie, I teared up a little at the site of that book cover. I absolutely love that book! I think one of us stole it from Gillain's class..or maybe just own it. So good.
P.S. Cook for me? Thanks.
the whole time i read that all i could think of was your concoction you made with mike.. thanks for owning up to it. and yes, you are a good cook
Al
phoebe gilman is my favourite! props to the brilliant analogy.
ps: curtis stone is NOT a take home asshole, you asshole.
"Hey! I'm so charming and Australian and you don't know me! Let me and my crew of strangers enter your house and put your husbands curiosities of how unfaithful you are to rest! Wait, you don't have anything else to do today, do you?" - Curtis Stone
who wrote that curtis stone comment anyway? (asshole)
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