the wild

Lately, after several large-party hangout scenarios, I've continued to unravel things that I truly stand for, and against. Par example:

Within the past few years, I've noticed somewhat of a rapid resurgence in the use of racial slurs and general racially-charged name calling that I thought was on its way out with our grandparents. Now, I have tried to understand this phenomenon (and trust me, it is) from many points of view, including the one about how racism is not as serious as it once was, making it a more widely accepted brand of comedy. However, like anything, there are limits. I hear and see these same limits being pushed every day. I don't think I've ever felt as uncomfortable as I have over the past year about these issues. I was raised in a home where discrimination was not even a frame of mind and not once did I ever hear my parents or siblings crack a joke surrounding ones race, except for the one about bad Asian drivers when my sister got in a car accident.

Now, I know these jokes are delivered with harmless intentions by most of today's youth, but this exact frame of mind has held racism a priority amongst modern cultural dilemmas for decades. It is something that I seriously will not stand for and have never found amusing. For instance, just the other night I said to someone "If I had a gun I'd shoot your fucking dick off," after said person referred to a young black girl as "darky". Disgusting. I can only take so much more of it.

Another serious dilemma that I won't stand for is chauvinistic behavior towards women. This is another issue that should have been out the door a long, long time ago. The fact that such disgusting behavior is still present amongst many "gentlemen" makes my fucking blood boil. Which brings me to my next point...

The humiliation of jocks. This is the stuff of my dreams. Nothing gives me more satisfaction than keeping that American Eagle frown right-side down. As far as I'm concerned, most of these unenlightened zeroes take up far too much space on this continent and serve no purpose other than keeping the beer and khaki industries afloat. So guys, a little heads up from old Andy: I will take your girl aside, dance the shit out of her, and give her right back like a true gent while you grip your pint and wonder how legs move like that. I will smile, and probably wink at you, and you won't like it.

But what would motivate an individual to do such things? Simply put - revenge. I was fortunate enough to attend multiple schools that were full of meat-heads in the making. We all know the type: bullies, goons, cooliosos, jocks, thugs, dickheads. The kind of guys that will end up snorting blow out of their polished briefcases before going home to measure their dicks in front of the mirror before watching the big game or cheat on their wives. These are the guys that I like to mess with strictly for my own personal gain, and I really don't see anything wrong with that.