premise alone is enough to make anyone watch:some scientist chef, trying to perfect the most simple of dishes. Heston Blumenthal is a brilliant guy. He not only has the best restaurant in the world, but the craziest approaches to cuisine that I've ever seen. Every, single, ingredient is prepared perfectly with the use of everything from dry ice, to beakers, to torches, to pennies.
The only really annoying part about this show is that not only are the dishes perfect, but they're impossible to make at home. Common phrases from Blumenthal usually sound like this: (in British accent)
"Now take your pie crust and line it with cheese cloth, double layered, that has been chilled in the refrigerator for at least three hours. This will prevent the rare Venezuelan butters from drying out and separating the crust. Pour Canadian pennies into the cheese cloth and allow pie to rest at room temperature for about three days."
I wish I was joking.
Something else I can't forget to mention is the theme song. It's probably the only song I've ever heard that is permanently stuck in my head, and I'm not even mad about it. I want to hear it all the time. I want to wake up to it, shower to it, have sex to it, drive my car to it, and want it played at my funeral. Diggi ding'ding deng dung dun ding...Diggi ding'ding deng dung dun ding
Gordon Ramsay
Damn, this guy is cool. Without any hint of sarcasm, I look up to this guy.
I will admit, I don't like Hells Kitchen; I think it's just Fox exploiting Ramsay's somewhat temperamental behaviour and making him play into this lunatic character that Americans love so much. Kitchen Nightmares is awesome. Basically, Ramsay goes around to the worst restaurants in England, cuts them up for the first half of the show, then turns things around and uses his restaurateur skills to bring back some business. Aside from his tough-ass exterior, the guy is just hilarious. His British mannerisms kill me. If you can hear me howling when I'm watching tv, it's usually one of three things: Seinfeld, black stand up, or Ramsay.
"Bloody hell", "Fuck sakes", "I bet the hole in my butt, big boy", he represents something I believe in: swearing is something that can be done well, tastefully, and with purpose. Fuck and shit, believe it or not, are two very versatile adjectives and nobody utilizes them better than Gordon. There's only a single downside to his shows: they always contain a short scene where he changes his shirts, revealing a bare-chested Ramsay, which is always awkward for the viewer. Regardless, I'm a fan of this guy. Bollocks!
License to GrillI should mention, that I am a fairly new fan to the Food Network. So new, in fact, that I am still new to certain shows. License to Grill, being one of them.
It was love at first sight.
This guy is awesome, mostly due to his passion for grilling meat on barbeque's. He loves it. I don't blame him either; if I had my own show I'd be buying full cuts of Porterhouse and bags of clams too. He's got some really great grilling ideas and is a tonne of fun to watch, with more catch phrases than Groucho Marx.
Bob Blumer
Bob is the best. He's just one of those convincingly harmless guys. He drives a giant toaster and attempts near impossible challenges. I'll admit, he's not the most amazing chef ever. Surreal Gourmet was a bunch of thrifty weird dishes made from his toaster kitchen on wheels, most of which I don't think I'd ever try.
Glutton for Punishment is the newer, snazzier attempt at Camp Blumer. This show rules life. Crazy challenges, interesting people, great facts on intriguing foods, travel and always humorous. Plus, his hair is awesome. I try to copy it.
Guy's Big Bite
A lot of people hate Guy. Hell, even I hate Guy. Is it his Corey Feldman 'do, his sports-jock presence, his Gino tan, or his buddy friends on his show that try to look like they're having fun but they're not even friends with Guy and they're just there to get drunk off of Guy's martini's and get paid.
At the same time, I love Guy. He's got some tasty grilling methods and his flame-bowling shirts never fail to make me laugh. Guy's Big Bite is an admirable attempt at trying to get guys (of the macho variety) to watch the Food Network.
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives is also a pretty good show. It's a lot like Alton Browns "tour-du-getting fat", only Southwest.
Above everything, if Guy came up to me and asked to be friends, I'd say yes, then drink his Martini's.
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