Showing posts with label storms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label storms. Show all posts

Saturday, March 13, 2010

the winds of shit

It's Danny's birthday today. My main man is 24.

Tonight there will be a party of some proportion. I'm kind of scared.
It reminds me of the morning of St. Paddy's Day, where you know some shit is going to go down.

I can feel the shit pressure rising, and the shit barometer dropping.


Sunday, August 9, 2009

if you're not going to turn it off, turn it up



There's nothing like a fuck-off-sized lightning storm to scare the shit out of everyone. It's actually quite humbling to be honest. Just when you think to yourself "damn I should go get groceries", sorry Jack, you're staying in tonight.

Storms are funny that way. My brother and I used to landscape for a woman who really, really loved storms. She'd go on and on about how powerful and primal they were and how much she loved the energy. Later we'd laugh about how she probably got extremely horny when she heard thunder, even though we both secretly wanted to bang her.

Come on Mike, you KNOW you did.

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Here's a story: When I was young I went to an eighth grade pool party. Everyone was swimming in our friends pool. My one friend Chrissy (a guy) was there. He didn't know how to swim, so his mom attended every pool party and made him wear water wings. It was a real buzz kill. The funny thing was, Chrissy was tall enough to stand in the deep end, so he looked ridiculous wearing water wings in the first place.

Everyone heard thunder, so my friends mom made us get out of the pool. We all huddled under the awning and ate soaking wet chips. Surely enough, lightning struck the pool. Not ten feet away, a huge white beam came down and struck the water, followed by the single loudest sound I've ever heard. Try to imagine a thousand car accidents happening at once in front of you.

I can easily say I will never be that close to a bolt of lightning ever again.

I almost wish Chrissy was in that pool, mostly because I'm curious of those water wings and if they'd explode.

Also, at that same party I kicked a girl in the vag' accidentally while we were on her trampoline. I was going up, she was coming down, I had my foot out, and she happened to catch it between her legs. We didn't talk much after that.

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On a final note: Do epileptics get seizures during lightning storms? I'm talking BIG lightning storms. It seems logical to me. If so, would they have to close their eyes if they were outdoors during a storm? Would they have to draw the blinds at home? I'd hate to see someone on the street, soaking wet, having a seizure. In this town they'd probably be thrown in the drunk tank.


Thursday, July 24, 2008

1920 - part 2 - That Night in Brandon

Brandon, Manitoba is a party.
There's not many people there, and there isn't really anything to do, but it's just the most bad ass little town to be in on a nice night. We spent the night at the Midway Motel and decided to get crazy. Why? There is a simple equation, at least to a Schmidt.
Driving + No Sunlight + Setting up the tent + Cooking + Mosquitoes = Hard Work
Motel + Ice Machines + Continental Breakfast + Outlets + Room Service + TV + Beds = Crazytime


So, with more than enough reasons to party on, we began with a parking lot tailgate party. This was nice because we got to relax with our shitty little griller, some beers, while watching an epic storm brew right before our eyes. Nothingwrongwiththat. What started with beer turned into some sort of liquor, and with TraBK mixing, it's no wonder the night ended the way it did. UUuuu..
Fortunately for those of you reading, I haven't had time to edit any of these photos. So what you're looking at are the true colors from the trip (besides, I don't edit them that much anyway). The sky was unnaturally blue that night, and with all the nitrogen in the air, the grass doesn't get much greener than that. This is the stuff I'd think about while I sat in bed, dreaming of the prairies. It may have been the only vacation to memory where I prayed for bad weather. Because, really, who wants to see a landscape of a blue sky? NEXT!

"Oh, Picasa. You wait until this one gets imported!" I love this photo above.



TraBK is a hilarious photographer.
If he ever decided to pursue it, his craft would be out of focus shots, because I think he loves them.

Right about here, pictured above, is where the night began kicking serious ass. We fled the hotel at the sight of such clouds and headed for some farmers fields. I think when I get to heaven (knock knock), I'll be greeted by a very similar image. I get flashbacks of running full tilt towards a dark horizon, laughing so hard I can barely breathe, numb, careless to the fact that some things in life just don't go as planned. Near this exact moment, I recall being hit by the first drop of rain, which was quite possibly a gentle reminder that heaven can wait.


Speaking of things ending strangely, we'll discuss that night. I was running around in the rain for a while back at the motel; standing under the hotel water runoff, having a great time. I got so wet that the shirt I was wearing didn't completely dry until about a week later. And then, when back in the room, I barfed? What the hell? We can't help but laugh at the fact ever since. I was just so strange. We were talking, and then all of a sudden things were all "Oh, Andy's barfing..". That was weird. I still apologize for crashing the party. At least the continental breakfast was good.