Tuesday, July 29, 2008

that was nice, wasn't it?


I liked Vancouver.

I had a discussion with Kamal today about Vancouver. We both agreed that - in a city of such rich, high-cost of living, it's hard to understand why the people appear so calm and relaxed all the time. Personally, I thought Vancouver was very similar to Toronto, only if you wrapped Toronto around a very large lake and plopped some mountains on the horizon. Ey'gad!

This is Bryan. Bryan is a good friend of mine. One of those friends that you've known long enough to make fun of each others past haircuts, girlfriends, clothes, grades, and decisions. I stayed at his condo in Vancouver for a few days and, needless to say, the guy is one of the better hosts I've had the pleasure of knowing.

Despite the outrageous $1.52/L gas prices, Bry drove us around town for a couple hours, making note of some of the best areas, and worst, that Vancouver has to offer. Had I known that the tour would have been that good, I would have payed upfront, cash. Bryan, if you read this, I am now telling you the forecast of your future: VanTourism. Your slogan can be,

"Hop on the fucking sled pawtna! Indigo's in the back!"

Yes, I drank Pilsner. For those of you who've never seen Fubar, watch and learn.


Stanley Park ruled. I snapped this, again, while doing about 60. Out the window, out of focus, click.


I can't remember really what was going on during this photo. I look like I'm being sucked backwards in time, Bryan looks like he's about to commit the worst sucker-punch ever. Bike looks like a rat child.



I asked Bike to do his best Japanese impression. Seeing as he used to live there, I trust his depiction.


Lake Louise, just like I remember it. I really wanted to swim in that water.



After clicking off a few photos of the scenery, my attention (deficit) was drawn towards picture-takers. There's an incredible moment to be seen when witnessing a person having their picture taken. Every person who's had their photograph taken knows this. There is something about a shiny, reflective lens that makes people turn from a reality to a representation of themselves.
Even in this photo below, that girl is thinking to herself,


" Oh my god, I'm getting my photo taken. I'd better make it a good one because I drove a thousand fucking miles just to get some evidence that I was here, so I'd better look good. What pose should I go for? Hip lean? Arms in the air? Peace sign? Smile? No smile? Maybe a smile without teeth? I didn't brush this morning. How are you supposed to brush your teeth out here anyway? Fuck, I hate camping."
Click.




I have to admit to enjoying the Trans Canada highway a little too much. Not all for its beauty, but just for the unfathomable amount of work it must have taken. Try to imagine how much work it takes to make a flat highway for a thousand miles. Then, try to imagine constructing that same highway, only it now stretches across the Rockies. That's the kind of hard work that you have to respect. I mean, LOOK AT THAT.




If I had known that there are (seemingly) only two Starbucks between here and Vancouver, I wouldn't have come at all. That's not true, but holy hell was it frustrating. For a guy who has trouble starting his day without a long americano, it was torture. I'll be sure to write Howard a bit later today about that. Here, I am pictured, fully satisfied.


Calgary made me laugh. It was a really pretty, clean, and diverse city. Yet it was full of cowboys, and it seemed like this style was only cool in Calgary, because I didn't see any of that shit anywhere else along the way. Thank the lord I didn't buy any Stampede gear when I was there.






Am I floating in this picture? There's a weird shadow near my feet that gives off this hovering look.



Thursday, July 24, 2008

1920 - part 2 - That Night in Brandon

Brandon, Manitoba is a party.
There's not many people there, and there isn't really anything to do, but it's just the most bad ass little town to be in on a nice night. We spent the night at the Midway Motel and decided to get crazy. Why? There is a simple equation, at least to a Schmidt.
Driving + No Sunlight + Setting up the tent + Cooking + Mosquitoes = Hard Work
Motel + Ice Machines + Continental Breakfast + Outlets + Room Service + TV + Beds = Crazytime


So, with more than enough reasons to party on, we began with a parking lot tailgate party. This was nice because we got to relax with our shitty little griller, some beers, while watching an epic storm brew right before our eyes. Nothingwrongwiththat. What started with beer turned into some sort of liquor, and with TraBK mixing, it's no wonder the night ended the way it did. UUuuu..
Fortunately for those of you reading, I haven't had time to edit any of these photos. So what you're looking at are the true colors from the trip (besides, I don't edit them that much anyway). The sky was unnaturally blue that night, and with all the nitrogen in the air, the grass doesn't get much greener than that. This is the stuff I'd think about while I sat in bed, dreaming of the prairies. It may have been the only vacation to memory where I prayed for bad weather. Because, really, who wants to see a landscape of a blue sky? NEXT!

"Oh, Picasa. You wait until this one gets imported!" I love this photo above.



TraBK is a hilarious photographer.
If he ever decided to pursue it, his craft would be out of focus shots, because I think he loves them.

Right about here, pictured above, is where the night began kicking serious ass. We fled the hotel at the sight of such clouds and headed for some farmers fields. I think when I get to heaven (knock knock), I'll be greeted by a very similar image. I get flashbacks of running full tilt towards a dark horizon, laughing so hard I can barely breathe, numb, careless to the fact that some things in life just don't go as planned. Near this exact moment, I recall being hit by the first drop of rain, which was quite possibly a gentle reminder that heaven can wait.


Speaking of things ending strangely, we'll discuss that night. I was running around in the rain for a while back at the motel; standing under the hotel water runoff, having a great time. I got so wet that the shirt I was wearing didn't completely dry until about a week later. And then, when back in the room, I barfed? What the hell? We can't help but laugh at the fact ever since. I was just so strange. We were talking, and then all of a sudden things were all "Oh, Andy's barfing..". That was weird. I still apologize for crashing the party. At least the continental breakfast was good.

1920 - part 1

Tarkins back.
What started as just an idea on paper and a desire to hit the road, turned into one of the summers biggest box-office excursions. I have recently returned from a 14 day journey across two countries, in an attempt to relax and do some research.
I look back on some wonderful memories, some of which I will go into further detail, right, about, now.




Ontario is a funny place. In fact, it's actually quite beautiful.
There's a heck of a lot more to it than some of the ugliest "cities" in the country. Did you know there are bears in this province, as well as moose? I didn't either, because only a fool would go around the Great Lakes, rather than under them. It took us over two days just to get out of the province, but I'd say it was worth it. I'd rather see some really defining Canadian landscape over advertisements for Michigan's own food chain, The Cracker Barrel. Although, it is that once you've seen ten kilometers of the shield, you've seen it all, and I was okay with that because I was looking at the sky most of the time.


I introduced TraBK to a theory of mine early on during the trip while driving, and that theory is that all bugs are girls, so don't crush them. This statement alone provided some of the funniest moments on the trip, mainly because we'd impersonate mosquito's as delicate females. Rathing than crushing them, we would provide a humorous narrative while insects were looking for a way out of the car. After laughing at eachothers depictions of dancing female bugs, we'd open a window and let her out. Think about it next time you feel like swatting that fly in your room: it's just a cute young lady looking for a way out.


Some sights, like the one pictured above, were hilariously identical to some of my work. Then and there, the entire purpose of the trip was fulfilled, and it had only been one day since leaving. Even TraBK was laughing at the similarities.
I wish I could bottle up that much inspiration and keep it on my shelves when I need it, because there was more than enough during times like that. A large goal I set out for myself was to not capture certain moments on film, but to place them into my head and let my imagination distort them in a way no camera ever could.